Monday, July 16, 2007
So as you can guess I got mine. And I got is over and over. So now that we are all sexed up we are a little tense. We both feel it. It is like, what next? What do we do now? We are walking on egg shells trying to balance our happiness and worry and NA meetings. Wow. I am really trying to communicate with him. That is something that we didn't do well before. But what addict/codependent does? We are learning to live with each other again as well as adjust to a clean environment. Scary and exciting. Any advice?? From both sides please. I can tend to be somewhat overbearing and controlling (figure that!) and would like some advice on backing off and letting go, detaching. So much easier to see it in someone Else's life!
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3 comments:
Well, the best piece of advice I have gotten lately is from a fellow Nar-anon'er. She said that with her husband, when he talks about his recovery she keeps her comments at "Mm hmm" whether she agrees or not. It's a tough one, but I have been trying it and, I like it. It frees me from building hope that he will take my suggestions, and, I think,it doesn't interfere with his program, which has to be his and only his. I've learned it can't be 'ours.' Of course, I end up giving my two cents here and there, but I always feel better when I just say "Mm hmm." And, god help me, I will never suggest that he go to a meetig again. Much to my frustration, "it's not my cow, not my farm." But, if I could control the world.... what a world it would be! Good luck
Mantramine speaks wise words.
If you believe in him, let him know it. The rest is up to him really.
I'll be reading to see how it's going.
Peace,
Scout
During the early days of my recovery I thought my family owed me something or should treat me special because I was being so "strong". It wasn't until much later and only after dealing with other alcoholics in my family did I realize how much I owed my family and should have treated THEM special.
It really wasn't that I was selfish once I got sober- it was just that I had been so selfish while drinking that I had been oblivious to the scarifices of those around me.
When I got sober, I just didn't know any better.
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