I love my ex. I love him as deeply as I did the day we married, had babies, divorced and when I dropped him off at rehab. He is still doing well. We have had no relapses and we are working on month five of clean and sober living. He tells me he still thinks about it but it is easier to forget.

I am finding it easier to forget, well not forget but forgive. Once I finally understood that it isn't a choice, not a malicious act done to hurt me, I was able to put it into perspective. We don't ask questions about the past. I think that helps me. If I ask and get answers I will hurt fresh. I don't want that. The past is behind me.

We brought up the subject of remarriage. It makes us both laugh. Yet, we haven't done it. He is scared. He has a felony warrant for breaking and entering. Here is the kicker, it is my house and charges filed at my request. I told him when he went to rehab (after he decided to go) that I would drop them since his help needed to come from there not the county jail. Well the detective won't drop the charges. She insists that he come in, get processed and bail out then the DA can see the case and drop the charges. Is that for money? Do they have a bail bonds man that kicks back some referral money? I am a little pissed about it. He is going to take care of it, he knows that he is getting off lightly.

Other than that we are all well. I have strep throat and I have never felt this shitty in my whole life! I mean when I was prego with the third kid I felt dead on my feet but this it totally different. I feel like I was hit by a truck. It hurts to swallow. Ugh. Now I have to wait on my kids to get it. Fun times!

At least I got my room painted! It is a beautiful shade of light green. The girls' room is a dark pink and now I feel like it is mine. I love my house. I love that I own it and I can dress it up or keep it like it is. It makes me happy. The new puppy has been restricted to the kitchen or the backyard. She is smart but young. She is a bulldog and we all love her so. I did a lot of research before we decided on the breed. I wanted a dog that was great with kids. She is. And they love her so. She has the most precious face, all squishy. We named her Suey, like as in "SUUUEEYYY!!!" like how the farmer calls a pig. Her mom is maned Piggy because she snorts a lot. It is too funny. I love animals with character!

Well I do have to fold. The house has gone to shit while I have been sick. Thanks for your time!