I struggled with Al-Anon meetings for a while. I know that there are other 12 step meetings but I always left angry. I still haven' figured out why. I have really grown to rely on the blogs of others similar to me. We are from all walks of life here bound by sadness, betrayal and lies (aka addiction). Fade to black. Ha ha.
But seriously folks. It is truly an anonymous forum here which makes it easier to be more openly honest without fear of ridicule. I have learned so much from the other people that I read here. It is better than a meeting. I will probably look up other groups soon since I realize that human contact is a necessary function of life. I can make up one million excuses why I haven't been in years. But I will spare you the bull shit.
I think a lot about the things I read from some of the blogs here. I think about them during the day some. I certainly don't blog as often as I read their heart wrenching stories. I guess my point is thanks! Thank you for sharing a part of your lives with me. It makes me feel more normal. I am insecure about where I fit in sometimes. I feel like MPJ (I use the abbreviation the Junky's Wife uses) when she described herself (and her family as well) as an outsider. That is what I am and I feel comforted that all of the shit that I have gone through, or more accurately allowed to happen, isn't all that fucked up. Does anyone else understand what I mean? I have a sneaking suspicion that more than one will. I leave you tonight with a sad, knowing smile. Thank you.
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3 comments:
I get all warm and happy when people blog about me. :)
I know what you mean. It is easier to share when you are truly anonymous. I always had a hard time in meetings because I always did get the feeling that people were judging. Here I can't see faces. That helps.
I think it is easier to digest and learn from the written word of life experiences instead of being there in person and hearing it first hand. Groups are great, but it is often the people that are relating their stories that distract me from learning anything except "hey, I don't like this guy".
Blogs are a great tool both personally and vicarously for those with addictions.
Blog on.
I've found both to be really helpful...the meetings and the blog. I have a tendency to monologue in my own life...to kind of take over a conversation and tell a big, long-ass story...and meetings provide this wonderful forum for that. I think they may be less helpful for folks who don't love the sound of their own voice as much as I do...but reading other people's stuff, and being able to write my stuff, is amazing. You're words are helping me, too...knowing that we're not in this crap alone...
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